The Joy Of Flipping Cars
by dyslexic-Carmie
Summary: This is what happens when Poland and Germany try to flip a 1969 Volkswagen Thing.


He put his hands on the dashboard and playfully drummed it. "I'm so bored! Did we have to come here?"

"I don't think you should put your hands on the-"

He cut his friend off with a groan. "Like, seriously we could have gone to that little Vilnius cottage thingy or something."

"Uh…. you said that you rather have your eyes held open with tiny toothpicks to watch a boring color of paint dry than visit my capital."

"Blah, how much longer is this stupid thing anyway?" he asked as he took his hands off the Ford. "I totally feel like if I stay here any longer my eyes will literally fall off of my face to go stare at stuff that's like not boring."

"Huh?"

"I would look totally stupid without my eyes. You might overestimate my ability to pull off stuff, but seriously I'm telling you, Liet, I would look extremely stupid. Like one of those creepy manikin things at like Forever 21."

Liet looked confused. "I have no idea what you're talking about."

"Ugh!" he groaned. "If my eyes fall out do to boredom then how am I going to be able to take selfies? If you would have just convinced me that little cottage cheese place isn't boring like a good little Lithuania would have then I won't be ruining my thinking space with worrying about my eyes falling off!"

"What-"

He cut his friend off. "This is all your fault Liet! If my eyes fall out of my face from boredom, you better pick them up and put them back in my head without breaking the five-second rule or whatever before they roll away or something."

Lithuania just looked at him confused. "Uh… Poland, you do know that we can leave here at anytime?"

Poland's face brightened. "Are you like being seriously serious right now? 'Cause you better not be like kidding me. Oh my God, we could have just gone home? Why didn't you just say something?"

"I… uh… guess I thought you knew that already." His friend blushed. "And I was sort of having fun looking at all the car models."

"You're literally the weirdest person I know. How could you possibly have fun at place like this?" he asked. "There isn't like ponies or anything remotely adorable at this fun sucking hole. All that's here is just stupid icky cars and stuff."

"Ugh… I'm sorry?"

Poland huffed. "Let's just get out of here already. I literally can't believe that you actually like this icky place."

"Its fascinating," Lithuania admitted as the two began walking towards the exit. "I really admire how all the Mustangs are lined up in order by model. Its really interesting to see how the design has evolved since 1965."

"By interesting you mean completely boring, right?" he asked as he adjusted the strap on his murse. "You're like kidding with me and stuff, right? 'Cause I really don't want to make your next birthday gift a full night stay at the loony bin."

His friend gave an awkward laugh. "Uh… you forgot my last birthday."

"I did? I don't think I did." Poland paused for a second. "Well if I did like forget, which I didn't, then it was totally like your fault for not reminding me that your existence day is like happening or whatever."

"What's an existence day?" a voice asked behind them making them stop walking to turn around. "Do I have an existence day? I want an existence day! Do they hurt?"

Lithuania smiled. "Oh hello, Mr. America."

"Oh hey, look its that red, white, and something guy," he added. "What are you like doing at this boring place?"

America ignored Poland's question. "So what's an existence day? Do I have an existence day? I want an existence day!"

"It's a birthday."

"A second birthday?"

"No, just one birthday."

"Instead of a birthday?"

"No, it is the birthday."

"That's stupid. What if I want a day to just celebrate my heroic existence?"

"That's sort of what a birthday is."

"Really?"

"Yeah."

"I thought birthdays were just big celebration to eat face cake."

"That's what a birthday is for and uh… face cake?"

"Yeah, cake in the shape of your face its called face cake and it's for birthdays. What sort cake would you eat at on this nonexistence existence day anyway?"

"I guess face cake because that's what you apparently eat at your birthday."

"But I this nonexistence existence day is a different holiday."

Poland grumbled. "OMG you guys are like having the stupidest conversation ever! I just want to get out of this boring place before my eyes fall out, and you two won't shut up. I really don't care that America, who shouldn't have been like eavesdropping on our conversation, doesn't know what a stupid birthday is."

"Hey, I do know what a stupid birthday is!"

"I really don't care," he stated as he began walking forward without his friend. "Come on Liet, we're like literally leaving now."

"Well that's rude."

Lithuania sighed. "I'm sorry, America. But I'm going to have to go now. Poland's my ride home. I did enjoy our short conversation. And I wish we would have known that you were here sooner."

"Liet!" Poland called. "Didn't you hear me? We are like literally leaving right now! Start moving your little butt towards the exit!"

America laughed. "Nah dude. It's all right. I would offer ya a ride home, but I'm not going by your place anytime soon. I'm meeting up with Japan after I make my purchase."

"Make your purchase?"

"Liet! Liet!" he called. "We are leaving now! Get moving towards the exit!"

"Yeah, I'm going to by one of these babies fix it up with my good buddy Japan and then sell it for more money than I bought it for."

Lithuania looked Poland, who was now standing by the exit, and then looked back at America. "That sounds interesting. What are you leaning towards buying?"

"Seriously, Liet get your butt over here!"

"Well, you can't beat a Ford Mustang," America answered refusing to acknowledge Poland's impatience. "There're American made and look freaking awesome. But I would be lying if I didn't admit that a certain Stingray has caught my attention."

"Stingray?"

"UGH! Do I have to come back there to drag your tiny butt to the door?" he asked as he began walking back to his friend. "This is seriously a waste of life!"

"It's a type of Chevy Corvette. They're down right beautiful. I saw a model from the seventies that look like it just needs a new coat," Lithuania's friend answered still not carrying about Poland's impatience. "Oh, and it could get a more modern radio!"

"Does that bring in more profit?"

"Does what bring in more profit?" Poland asked making it back towards the group. "Blah, blah, blah! You wasted some of my life, Liet! I just want to go home!"

"Hells yeah a radio brings in more profit," America answered. "You don't know how many times potential buyers tried to heckle me down a few thousand 'cause the baby was missing a decent radio."

"Wow. A few thousand that's a big difference."

"Yeah, I know right."

"America, stop trying to steal my best friend," he spat trying his best to make his presence known. "And what the hell are you two talking about? What's this few thousand dollars?"

"Sup, Pol! Can I call ya Pol?" America said. "Lithuania gets to call ya Pol."

"No," Poland replied. "And what's with all this talk about money?"

"America is in the business of buying and reselling cars."

"Sounds boring."

"What do ya find boring about making a ten thousand dollar profit?"

His face brightened. "Did you say ten thousand dollar profit? As in like ten thousand dollars? As in ten thousand bucks of money?"

America laughed. "Yep, its called flipping cars. Ya buy some cars that need some work done, fix them up, and then resell them for way more than ya paid for. If you're great with the heckling, you could be making real big bucks."

"So, all I have to do is get one of this stinking cars and give it a make-over and resell it?" Poland asked. "And people are actually going to be stupid enough to buy it?"

"Yep. It's a real easy way to make some dough and its fun!"

Lithuania sighed. "Please don't tell me that you're thinking-"

He cut his friend off. "When can I get started?"

"Anytime you want. And once you make a ton of money, you can throw it all in the air and laugh evilly," America answered. "Oh, and it also helps to have a partner when you flip cars. Mine's Japan."

"I see," Poland said with deep thought. "So, all I need is a little person to do all the work for me? And I can be making big money?"

"Get somebody that's strong and knows stuff about cars."

"I don't know anybody like that."

"Hey! Ya know me and I'm strong and I know about cars. I'm like a mini Eisenstein when it comes to cars. But I'm cool if ya don't want to use my expertness on this. I'm already buying and reselling cars with my good buddy Japan," America said chuckling. "Oh! You should make Germany your car fixer buddy! He's like a big Eisenstein when it comes to cars!"

Lithuania frowned. "Now that's a bad idea."

"Germany knows stuff about cars?"

"More than I'll ever know," America admitted. "He's a real beast when it comes to all the mechanic stuff."

"So pretty much all have to like do is just call the guy and ask him for help?"

"Yep, pretty much. Its great that you have a friend like Germany to help ya with rebuilding cars. I mean 'cause it's not like you don't have any other strong friends besides me. You're friends with Germany, right?"

"Sure."

His friend raised an eyebrow. "Since when?"

"Since I found out that his mechanic talents can be used for my benefit."

"Oh this isn't going to end well," Lithuania mumbled to himself. "Why do you have to use Germany as your mechanic? You guys haven't talked since…. uh… well you guys just don't really talk to each other-"

He cut his friend off. "That's why this totally is an excellent opportunity for us to become great friends!"

"Well, you could just use me as your partner-"

America cut Lithuania off with a snort. "Dude, that's like the dumbest idea ever in the history of dumb ideas! No offense, Lithuania, but you're probably the last person I'd ask for when it comes to car advice or any other kind of man stuff. It's probably because each time I hear a name that ends in an A I think it's a chick. Like Madonna, or Rihanna, or Lithuania-"

"Hey, that's not always true," his friend protested.

"No, Americ-a has a point," Poland said amplifying on the A at the end of America. "Several language do have a rule that make words that ends with an A feminine."

"And I respect the rules!" America stated. "So, in my head you're a chick, Lithuania."

* * *

"Hey Liet, I don't want any of those like foreign charges put on my phone can I like borrow your cellphone?" Poland asked once they made their purchase and left the car show. "I have to literally call Germany and ask for his help on fixing up this clunker."

Lithuania sighed and took out his phone. "I really don't understand why you can't just use my help on this project."

"That's easy to answer. You're not too good with the manly stuff," he answered taking his friend's cellphone. "I need a real man for this job."

"I know more about cars than you."

Poland opened the phone. "Meh. Well there's like no way that you know more about cars than Germany."

"I guess that's true," Lithuania mumbled. "I'm just a little bummed out that America and you don't think I would be good at a job like this."

"I can't hear you when you mumble or when you talk about your feelings. Now what's Germany's number?"

"It should be saved under contacts."

He found the number. "You know I'm a little nervous about calling him."

"I can imagine. You two really haven't talked since… uh… well… a long time."

"Maybe this is a bad idea." Poland gave an awkward laugh. "But… I did totally already buy a car, so I guess I'm like at point of no return."

His friend shook his head. "I still can't believe that you bought the first car that you saw at the first price given."

"Meh, whatever I still got it at a great price," he stated. "The salesman really looked surprised when I agreed to buy it. I'm guessing that he didn't realize that his price was so low."

Lithuania rolled his eyes. "You bought a 1969 Volkswagen Thing with a broken headlight for ten thousand."

"Which is a great deal. Now shut up for I can talk to Germany."

"Are you sure that you don't want me to talk to Germany for you?" his friend asked as he hit the call button.

"Yeah, I'm totally sure. This is my idea and I'm not going to have you try to take any of the large profit I'm going to totally make from it."

"Hello?" Germany asked once the phone had connected to him.

"Hi Germany! It's me Poland. I'm just calling from Liet's phone. I have a job for you."

Germany groaned. "Oh dear. Look I'm sorry about all the crazy stuff that my old boss-"

He cut him off. "Its not related to that. I bought a clunker and I figured since you're good with cars you can help me flip it or something."

"What kind of car is it?"

"A 1969 Volkswagen Thing."

"You have to be joking."

"I'm not joking. It could use a new paint job. I'm thinking that it'll look much prettier if it was pink. Oh, and it has a broken headlight."

"Why do you want my help with this?"

"Well duh, you're totally great with cars. And America told me that you're the best pick for partner on a project like this."

Germany sighed. "I guess that means that I have to help you."

"I'll have the car at your place this evening! Bye." Poland hung up the phone. "Well, I think that went well."

* * *

**a/n**

**If ya don't know what a 1969 Volkswagen Thing is then Google it. **

**Look Flowers-in-the-dust, I finally got around to working on that Germany and Poland story ya wanted. I hope this is going in the direction you wanted. The next chapter is going to have way more interaction between Germany and Poland. **

**Oh and hello to all the not Flowers-in-the-dust readers too! Would any of y'all like to be a darling and point out any grammar mistakes I may have made in a review? It will really help me not make the same grammar mistakes in the future. **


End file.
